Goat Rescue

Gather round the campfire kids – it’s time for the story of the Goat Rescue!

Yup, it was a crisp autumn morning, the kind I’d like to sleep in some more, but can’t.  My parents were away – it was supposed to be camping, but since the truck and camper was still at the house, it must have turned into a hotel trip.  So, that meant I was in charge of the livestock – baby chicks inside, and outside – multiple cats, half a dozen chickens and 3 goats.

So I get over to the coop to let the chickens out of the cage.  I notice there, in the corner, is Tug – the white goat with horns.  He isn’t moving toward me – his head is in the hay stack.  Probably not too unusual – after all, he’s a goat – and goats eat hay.  I got a bit closer, and it became clear he was trying to get out of the haystack.  Yup, he got his head stuck in the wire fencing used to hold back the hay.  He wasn’t anxious or overly upset, but clearly wanted to get out of there.  I tried to move his head to untangle him, but no luck.  I tried several times – moved his head to the left, down, tried to get his horns in the right spot – still nothing.

I had been smart enough to bring my cell phone with me.  The Hubby was home, but sleeping.  I really didn’t want to wake him up. But I didn’t want to go home and find wire cutters – it felt like it would be too long to leave the goat.  So, I did what I had to – I called my dad.  No answer.  Tried again – calling my mom (I’m so glad they each have their own phone!)

So, my mom answers in her cheerful voice – Good Morning – and I’m like – “yea, except for this one thing.  Your goat.”  I could hear her breath catch – what could be wrong? “He’s stuck in the hay”.  So she gets dad on the phone.  He directs me to the workroom in the basement and helps me find the bolt cutters.  So off I go, to cut some wire first thing in the morning (really, isn’t that the first thing you do every morning?).  I make a few cuts and voila! Tug is freed from his jail (you know, the kind where your food is shoved in your face and you can’t stand it anymore).

So now it’s time to go inside to check on the baby chicks.  Everything is fine – and as I’m about to go, my cell phone rings.  It’s Mom.  She says she and dad were talking and they want me to get the goats outside in the run and put the chickens inside the coop.  That way, the chickens will lay eggs where they are supposed to and will be in there to roost at night, and the dumb goats won’t a) get stuck again or b) get cut by the wire where is was cut back.  Makes sense – so back out I go to the coop.  I get the goats outside into the run, and start rounding up the chickens.  I get two of them without any issues.  There are three more, plus the rooster that just will not cooperate.  Any time I got close to one of them, I would get butted by a white goat with horns in the back of the leg.

This morning was going downhill.  Fast.  I was out there for a good 30 minutes, chasing chickens and getting attacked by a horny goat.

I finally reached the end of my rope.  I called my mom back.  “How badly do you want me to get those chickens into the coop?  They are just not cooperating and the damn goat keeps knocking me in the back of the leg!”  No problem, she says.  Just leave them out there and they’ll just be cold and have to deal with it.  Awesome! I think, along with the thought that the next time I have chicken for dinner, I’m gonna enjoy it like never before (after all, the best revenge is eating something, right?).

So kids, the moral of the story – never let the chickens out of the cage until you’re sure the goats haven’t gotten themselves stuck in a hay feeder in case you have to cut the goat out and then kick him out of the coop for his own good.

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